I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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