never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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