the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish i was in the wii world.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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