Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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