Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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