I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
