i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
