My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
