So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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