well I can't set my house on fire every night
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
