Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
