Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize