Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
