she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
