The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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