Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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