i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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