I got her a Nickelback box set.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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