It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
