Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
