so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
