Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I am one with the molecules
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The power of my boobs compel you
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
