Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize