OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
