the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
