I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
