I wish I could punch you in the face.
he puts the penis in happiness.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Bring me that man meat
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
