your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
