Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
