That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
