yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
