Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
