we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
