Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
