WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
