Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
