bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
