1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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