Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
