i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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