idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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