Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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