My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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