dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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