Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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