Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize