I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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