yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
