How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
