my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
