Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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