Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
