anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I need a beard to bite.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
