I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Can i not drive my cunt home
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
