He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
