Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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