Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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