Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
