how can u be prego again
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
